Shannon Renee Blog

Since I’ve had my little boy I’ve been thinking a lot about love. What is love… what does it mean… what does it look like? Someone once told me that the love a parent has for a child is different and deeper than they had ever before experienced. I was convinced that I couldn’t love anyone more than Peter and that my rational character would win over such silly emotional notions. I would love my son just as much as Peter and that was that. The moment I met Dakoda I experienced emotions I never before had felt. I cried and laughed uncontrollably… and a rush of other emotions I can’t even describe with the English language. No matter how difficult being a new mom became… the uncontrollable crying, the sleepless nights, all the unknowing, all the pain… I felt such a deep strong connection to this little life. The more time went on the more strong and defiant he became… the more I saw myself in his little (or rather quite large) personality. He is a little me… he has his daddy’s looks but he’s me… little tiny bulldozing me. It gives me so much joy to know that I know exactly how to love him. I know exactly what he needs. I know what will brake his heart and I know what will give him confidence. My love for Dakoda was much more than anything I have ever experienced before. Is it because he is an extension of me? Perhaps… or maybe it is because he is not only an extension of me, but a piece of my love Peter as well. I truly love them both very much with all of my heart. Is that what it means to love? To see oneself in someone else? Is it the way he makes me feel about me? Or is it the completion of combining together all that I have and all that I lack in one little tiny perfectly imperfect boy? Maybe it’s all the above… one thing is for sure… I will love him more and more every single day.